Becoming an expert in testing without working hard and in 8 simple steps by pradeep

28 Mar

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Pre-requisite

  1. You must have worked as a tester for a couple of years with some big companies like Microsoft, Google, IBM, Infosys, Wipro, CTS (whatever)
  2. You must have a blog
  3. You must be on an interview panel for your organization or you interview testers
  4. You could also be a testing coach or trainer.

Step 1:

Once you have that…

Think about an animal or a bird type which is not yet used in testing, be it White Mamba, Giraffe, Elephant, Blackbuck, Spoon bill, Parakeet, Dolphin…

If you want to be more imaginative, you may want to think of insects or reptile families like Spider, Tarantula, Gnat, House Fly, Mosquito – Dengue type, Mosquito – Chikun Gunya type…

Note: Monkey, Guerilla, Snake and Rhino are already in use and introduced by other experts. Don’t copy or if you want to, please owe them necessary credits.

Step 2

Once you fix upon an animal, bird or an insect in mind start to think about the connection between them and testing and form a new technique.

Suggestion / Tip based on experience: It is at this moment, you must start making notes.

For example:

If you are going to think about spider, you can think of a technique where testers behave like a spider, first weaving the web (tests) and then waiting for the bugs to be caught on it, while staying at the centre. Once in a while when there are enough bugs to report, the tester moves from the centre and captures those bugs. If the web is destroyed, move on to make another web.

Note: Don’t use the above published example. Someone may google and find out that you are a fake expert.

Step 3

Write a lengthy explanation of your technique and use words and terms that confuses the reader.  For example use words like: Neil Bhors effect, indemnification against ramification, trapezium syndrome, Wurtz Fittigs reaction… that are not often used and even if Googled, people can’t understand what it means.

Experience based tip: If you are married, ask your spouse to read it, and if you hear, “Honey, this is awesome”, you are publishing ready.

Step 4

Publish it on your blog

Most important note: You shouldn’t do the marketing for your blog post.

Step 5

Ask all those testers whom you interview if they know the technique you published in your blog post and reject them if they didn’t. Do this over a period of six months to at least about 100 testers.

Now what those 100 testers will do is to first go Google your technique and try understanding your blog post. As you have obfuscated it, no one would get it, so they would ask experienced testers and experts in forums and groups that claim to discuss testing. The ego of experienced testers and so called experts wouldn’t let them say, “I don’t know this” but instead, they would offer their own explanations to it.

Step 6

Apply to testing jobs and attend interviews. If the interviewer is asking you to explain your own animal / insect / bird technique to you, tell to yourself, “Congratulations!”

Step 7

Quit your job and start writing to conference program chairs telling them you would be willing to do a half day or a full day tutorial on this famous technique. Say it was the “Snake in the Eagle’s shadow technique” you introduced, you could do a one day tutorial and charge as much as what ISTQB training costs.

Some conferences will give you a chance to keynote and from there you are a hero.

Step 8

Consider publishing a book with your technique. Hang out with other bloggers at conferences, buying them beer and tweet saying, “I am meeting @this_tester and he is so cool” or “This guy is one hell of a tester”. They would be so pleased that they would go back and write blog posts on your keynote and technique.

That’s all. No rocket science. By the way, this actually works. Have you been interviewed and been asked about the Monkey, Guerilla, Rhino, Snake, Yellow, Blue, White, Black?

Oops, I left my one horned male mutated rhinocerous testing technique research midway. I am speaking at CAST 2011 and hope to catch you all there. Apparently, James was the Conference chair and he didn’t give me the keynote.

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