Archive | March, 2013

Becoming an expert in testing without working hard and in 8 simple steps by pradeep

28 Mar

Image

 

Pre-requisite

  1. You must have worked as a tester for a couple of years with some big companies like Microsoft, Google, IBM, Infosys, Wipro, CTS (whatever)
  2. You must have a blog
  3. You must be on an interview panel for your organization or you interview testers
  4. You could also be a testing coach or trainer.

Step 1:

Once you have that…

Think about an animal or a bird type which is not yet used in testing, be it White Mamba, Giraffe, Elephant, Blackbuck, Spoon bill, Parakeet, Dolphin…

If you want to be more imaginative, you may want to think of insects or reptile families like Spider, Tarantula, Gnat, House Fly, Mosquito – Dengue type, Mosquito – Chikun Gunya type…

Note: Monkey, Guerilla, Snake and Rhino are already in use and introduced by other experts. Don’t copy or if you want to, please owe them necessary credits.

Step 2

Once you fix upon an animal, bird or an insect in mind start to think about the connection between them and testing and form a new technique.

Suggestion / Tip based on experience: It is at this moment, you must start making notes.

For example:

If you are going to think about spider, you can think of a technique where testers behave like a spider, first weaving the web (tests) and then waiting for the bugs to be caught on it, while staying at the centre. Once in a while when there are enough bugs to report, the tester moves from the centre and captures those bugs. If the web is destroyed, move on to make another web.

Note: Don’t use the above published example. Someone may google and find out that you are a fake expert.

Step 3

Write a lengthy explanation of your technique and use words and terms that confuses the reader.  For example use words like: Neil Bhors effect, indemnification against ramification, trapezium syndrome, Wurtz Fittigs reaction… that are not often used and even if Googled, people can’t understand what it means.

Experience based tip: If you are married, ask your spouse to read it, and if you hear, “Honey, this is awesome”, you are publishing ready.

Step 4

Publish it on your blog

Most important note: You shouldn’t do the marketing for your blog post.

Step 5

Ask all those testers whom you interview if they know the technique you published in your blog post and reject them if they didn’t. Do this over a period of six months to at least about 100 testers.

Now what those 100 testers will do is to first go Google your technique and try understanding your blog post. As you have obfuscated it, no one would get it, so they would ask experienced testers and experts in forums and groups that claim to discuss testing. The ego of experienced testers and so called experts wouldn’t let them say, “I don’t know this” but instead, they would offer their own explanations to it.

Step 6

Apply to testing jobs and attend interviews. If the interviewer is asking you to explain your own animal / insect / bird technique to you, tell to yourself, “Congratulations!”

Step 7

Quit your job and start writing to conference program chairs telling them you would be willing to do a half day or a full day tutorial on this famous technique. Say it was the “Snake in the Eagle’s shadow technique” you introduced, you could do a one day tutorial and charge as much as what ISTQB training costs.

Some conferences will give you a chance to keynote and from there you are a hero.

Step 8

Consider publishing a book with your technique. Hang out with other bloggers at conferences, buying them beer and tweet saying, “I am meeting @this_tester and he is so cool” or “This guy is one hell of a tester”. They would be so pleased that they would go back and write blog posts on your keynote and technique.

That’s all. No rocket science. By the way, this actually works. Have you been interviewed and been asked about the Monkey, Guerilla, Rhino, Snake, Yellow, Blue, White, Black?

Oops, I left my one horned male mutated rhinocerous testing technique research midway. I am speaking at CAST 2011 and hope to catch you all there. Apparently, James was the Conference chair and he didn’t give me the keynote.

6/9 part II – One Rainy day [My second corporate love story]

18 Mar

One Rainy Day.!!

It’s been raining for the past two weeks, plenty of rain made every day so restless and gloomy. Once I entered into the office I went straight away to my cubical & opened Chrome in my system. [Typing sound] www.facebook.com searched for Samnju’s name and started to type the msg:”Gd morning Samnju I’ve reached office ma.. W r u?!?  Did u had ur breakfast?!? I know u vl be angry with me, my msg booster got over by that time that’s y I couldn’t msg u .I swear you I ll never do this again. I’m waiting for ur msg so badly, Plz msg me when u r free da, luv You Sweet Heart“

Jo: Came to my place in a tensed mood & asked me furiously “Machi today updated account is not logging in da..

Praveen : By seeing his gesture & reaction , I thought I had made a terrible mistake , it took some time for me to realize that nothing went wrong it’s just a minor problem & I replied him in normal voice ,”Ok machi I ll see that, right now I’ve some important work to do”

Jo: With simile “Oh you are watching cricket uh..??!?!?”

Praveen [Mind voice]: [Ayyo Ivan torture thaanga mudiyalae..!]

Praveen: But with a fake smile I replied”No da I’m texting to Samnju ”

Jo: Replied in low voice “oh sorry da machi. U carry on” & then he looked at my monitor for few seconds & went to his place.

I’m Praveen VCR team, working for L cube. Only thing I learned for this Company is “Politics is everywhere even in S/W firms also”. After a few seconds my phone vibrated with a ring. It’s Ramya she said she was waiting near Anna Nagar bus dipo. It was the 4th time in this week she came here to meet me, on the past three occasions I said some reason & avoided her, but this time around I felt guilty for lying to her on the past three occasion & finally decided to meet her. So I filled my early logout tracker with some stories and went to meet her.

I’ve purposely left my bike in office & walked to dipo. She was standing there alone & she is shivering in cold, carrying her hand bag in one hand and a Pink umbrella in another hand.  She came close to me & said with little tears “Finally you came to meet me”.

Praveen: By hearing those words I felt ashamed of myself & words are hard to come by, then I told her “let’s go I ll take u to ur hostel”. It started drizzling now.

With her beautiful eyes she was staring at me without opening her umbrella. I knew she wanted to share mine. I said “It’s already getting dark open up ur umbrella let’s go” she opened her umbrella & we both went to the auto stand

Ramya: I’m feeling very cold da, can we have a cup of coffee plzzz.

But I answered her “NO.!! Straight away” with pain in my heart. With face full of disappointment she dropped her head down & asked me to take her to Nugambakam station.

[After 20mins] We got down at nugambakam and walked slowly towards the station. The station was filled with bunch of people, all the trains were full & I see people carrying umbrella and their belongings. We sat on the bench and she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long of course I know what she is thinking now .I understand how she must feel now. When she came all this way & that too in this kind of weather to meet me and I treated her like a third person. I felt guilty on me once again.

Ramya Rajagopalan, yes that was her full name .The man behind her name is my uncle working in BHEL with my dad. It was in R.S.K higher sec school when I saw her first. That was my 1st day for School, I’m already late and searching for 11e class room nervously. Suddenly I felt something on my shoulder. Then I realized its blue ink which is quickly spreading all over my shirt, with full of anger I looked around & its Ramya 9th std running down the steps with mouth full of apologies “sorry… sorry plzzz” My whole anger turned into pleasant smile & I told her its ok. Then I met her in guitar class, then occasionally in my home .I think in the Month of Dec 2009 when I was in Chennai for my final year project she called and proposed me. But I refused it by saying that “I’ve already found my girl & her name is Samnju” she started to cry continuously. I thought she ll forget me sooner & will move on with her life, but I was wrong , she is still loving me,coz of me only she is doing her engineering in Chennai.

After sometime I left those memories & came back to my real life, I heard a train whistle & it’s just arrived in the station. Ramya slowly stood up & walked towards the coach. She starred at me without stepping inside the coach, she wiped her tears and said to me, “Take good care of yourself da.” I didn’t uttered a word, just nodded my head lightly and walked out of the station towards the bus stop.

–          By the same time in office –

Dinesh: “Hi da vinu, where is Praveen da?!?!”

Vinu:” I don’t know where he went but he left the office to meet someone da machi”

Dinesh:” K then I ll use his system for a sometime machi, need to check some issues in IE10. Do u know which version he is using?!?” After unlocking the system Samnju’s profile came in front with the msg which sent to her recently.

With confusion turned towards vinu and asked “Hey is this samnju da.? Praveen’s lover right?!?!? But….she was..

Vinu: I interrupted dinesh before he completing “Ya she was dead in that train accident” I never expected that my night mare turns towards him. [The scenes in the dream just crossed my thoughts]

Dinesh: Then why the hell he is still messaging to her profile.??!

Vinu: “what to do his loveable memories with her are still alive” replied sadly.

 

My 2nd Short Scribbling

My 2nd Short Scribbling